Posted by: annmucc | October 6, 2008

Eager to work on a Monday Morning (issue #389)

I receive this every week, and thought I should share it with all of you.

Enjoy!

Three women and three men are traveling by train to the football At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket.

‘How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?’ asks one of the men.

‘Watch and learn,’ answers one of the women.

They all board the train. The three men take their respective seats but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.

He knocks on the toilet door and says, ‘Ticket, please. The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.

When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don’t buy any ticket at all!! ‘How are you going to travel without a ticket?’ says one perplexed man. ‘Watch and learn,’ answer the women. When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.

Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding. The woman knocks on their door and says, ‘Ticket, please.’ I’m still trying to figure out why
men ever think they are smarter than women!

——————————

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The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely affect the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control, until then, talk to her, and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying, “Oh Mom! You do not have to worry about that! I am dating Susan!”

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A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher’s hand. He said, “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!”

The preacher said, “Thank you sir, but I’d rather you didn’t use profanity.”

The man said, “I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!”

The preacher said, “No shit?”

————————–

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, “Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.”

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table. “Gee, Mom,” he exclaimed, “for me?”

“Just take two,” Brenda replied. “The rest are for your father.”

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Wish you all a great week!


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