Posted by: annmucc | March 5, 2009

Maltese vs British Men

In my time in London I have realised a few things about the male species in these two countries. Most people would say that men are men (seeing as they all come from Mars), but that is not my social experience has shown. The Maltese and British men come from two distinct species, or at the very least two different subspecies. 

Why do I say that? Well…they don’t act the same for starters when compared between the two groups, but agree quite strongly when compared within the groups (have not done any statistics, but I am sure had I to carry some kind of t-test the significance would be as I stated here ;)).

The main difference which is glaringly obvious to me?

A Maltese man will come and help a woman he sees struggling with something, be it something hard to open, or a heavy load to carry, and everything in between.

A British guy? Even if you’re dying crushed under a huge weight, the probability of them nudging themselves to come to help is very slim…better off calling a girl for help than a guy.

On the other hand, a British guy will definitely buy you a drink at a bar. I don’t think I have bought one drink since I’ve been in the UK (unless going out with Maltese guys), especially if I am going somewhere I don’t know anyone (such as Meetups). I was taken aback the first time it happened, but after comparing notes with other foreigners in the UK it seems that Yeps! that’s the way it is done here!

Maltese guys? You don’t have the money? Fine! Don’t drink! Drinks are split between everyone and you’re not getting out of it just cos you’re a girl!

So it seems like in Malta we have financial equality while in the UK we have physical equality…not sure which is best :/

 

Malta-UK relations

Malta-UK relations

 

But you’re probably saying…but what about Danish boys? 

Well…I don’t have much experience there…one boy is not really a representative sample is it? (All those statistics I learned and used are coming into use now…they were not useless ;)).

One thing I can say though? Danish guys don’t seem to find anything wrong with going to a wedding in a black suit, white shirt, and black tie…wait a second though! Neither do Danish girls! Only one girl agreed with me there that that was not right! So maybe it is a cultural thing :/ – what do you think about that dress code for a wedding?

 

Danish Relations :)

Danish Relations 🙂

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Responses

  1. I agree and i’m a British male. I do try and help people as much as I can though! We’ve became a horribly selfish nation over the past few years.

  2. thanks for making me smile…
    i guess maltese men want to show they’re machos….

  3. @ Mina: glad to be of service 😉
    Well, they may want to show they’r machos…but believe me! Here they won’t help! Yesterday I was first trying to open a bolt which was definitely not going anywhere soon…but this guy just looked at me and my pleading look, and walked straight on! Then, I had to carry this big boxes (I barely manage one on my own!) But guys only helped me (and sullenly at that) ghax jien Maltija u ma ddejjaqtx nsaqsihom 😛

  4. @ Mina: and you didn’t say what you think of wearing a black suit, white shirt and black tie to a wedding! Is that stylish or a statement saying that you consider the event to be a funeral? Enlighten me please!

  5. @ futiledemocracy: Well…I think it is more the culture you grow up in rather than anything else…I think in the UK people have the sense of gender equality ingrained in them, such they don’t want to offend the woman by offering help. On the other hand I find that the British also have a culture of buying rounds of drinks, i.e. buying drinks for other people, so they consider it normal to buy drinks for others. I don’t think that is as much ingrained in Maltese culture as it is here. It is amusing to realise these things though 🙂

  6. My British male friends in Shanghai don’t always buy me a drink when we go out. 🙂

    As for carrying heavy things or opening jars, I prefer to try it first and if I really can’t do it, ask a guy for help. Rather than the guy presuming I’m feeble and doing it for me. We fought hard to be thought of as equals with guys, have you forgotten already? 😉

    As for weddings, I’d be shocked to see a male guest turning up to a formal wedding in a suit of any colour, other than black, and grey. In Australia, I’ve seen female guests come to weddings in black dresses, but they are usually in the minority. Most girls come in colourful dresses, and steer clear of white, cream, ivory colours (the exclusive domain of the bride). I don’t intentionally wear black to a wedding but if it’s the only dress that fits me in the wardrobe, I’d wear it.

  7. @ Grace: Hehe – Yeps – I am quite up for asking (as I did last Wednesday as I had too much stuff to carry)…I just find it a bit amusing that a girl would come to help you but a guy will definitely not come here (or that’s my experience at least), while in Malta, as Mina said, guys try to appear as macho as possible 🙂 However, I would definitely try it out first (I was referring to having to carry 3 large boxes I couldn’t manage even one on my own, and 2 other smaller boxes all at the same time!)
    About a wedding dress I wouldn’t mind a black dress at a wedding, but I raise my eyebrows at the complete set of black suit, white shirt and black tie…but then again, what fashion sense do I have? None 😛

  8. I had a totally different impression! I found british guys pretty helpful on the “carrying heavy stuff” part, having been helped out at least twice with heavy luggage on tube stairs… it was in my few weeks in london and it took me by surprise =)
    Oh and i like the drinks thing, i noticed that too 😉

  9. @ Ruthie: Haha – they must fancy you more than me mela 😉 And I must admit…the drinks thing is nice O:)

  10. Of course you can wear a black tie to a wedding 😛

  11. @ Michael: Ok, OK – got your point :P…though you didn’t find an image for to 😛

  12. I don’t know anything about wedding dress code for guys…black tie? Why not? Let me ask Red…no, he doesn’t have a clue…I think I will google it 🙂

  13. @ Wen: Hehe – it seems I would have to shut up the next time Michael decides to go to a wedding in a black suit and tie…I thought of it as funeral wear, but hearing it put as ‘black tie’ makes it sounds much more appropriate…I think I should delete this post so Michael can never come back with proof about it 😛

  14. to

    😛

  15. As a British man I respect the example handed down to me about helping women in any way. In Britain you will find that a native Briton (I am Welsh and so add myself to that circle of men) will often do what they can for a woman, even as “lowly” as standing aside at a doorway as a sign of respect. I happily still see this bein carried out by very much younger British men than myself.
    Many men here are aware that certain acts of courtesy in England are often interperated as a sign of “making out” and we can find ourselves in embarresisng situations by just being polite. So we are often wary of being “too familiar”, hence perhaps our reticence to be too ” forward” to be “respectful”
    Yes, I agree that a Maltese man may go out of his way to help an Englsih woman in his own country, but have you ever thought why? I say this, because once a Maltese man moves over here, their “politeness” somewhat dims. I have seen this happen many times and certainly their “politeness” disappers in crowded places or for seats on buses etc. In Malta there is a reason to be polite to young English women, over here it is different. Be aware of false attention.

  16. Hi J.Evans,
    Thanks for your reply!
    I have now been in London quite a bit longer than when I first wrote this. I do agree that Britons (not Londoners really, cos in London I find there are not many Britons anyways, and it’s a bit more of a jungle than the rest of England) are very polite. But I do see your point of trying not to be ‘too familiar’. I am not sure that quite counts in Malta as everyone is more familiar than here.
    Ahh – the seats in bus issue! I have problems with that too I think. In Malta if there is a free bus you take it, as otherwise other people cannot get into the bus or move around, so it is not very practical to stand if possible. So I still often operate with the Maltese mindset of there’s a seat I have to take it, as that is my first instinct! I guess I am not always that polite in that either (though I will stand up if I realise that someone needs the seat more than me, wherever I am sitting).
    I am not sure I understand the reason for Maltese men to be polite to young English women in Malta but not here…but then I am Maltese so probably won’t experience it!

  17. haha, This was hilarious. I moved to the UK not long ago, and I definitely agree. x

  18. Maltese men don’t buy women drinks? Hah! Perhaps they didn’t buy you drinks… 😉

    • Well, maybe I should correct the statement. Maltese men do buy drinks, but only if they want something in return ;).


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